


The Sun's Laments

by sensualjisoo



Category: Mamamoo
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Heavy Angst, Romance, mamamoo - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-22
Updated: 2018-10-29
Packaged: 2019-07-15 12:34:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16063265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sensualjisoo/pseuds/sensualjisoo
Summary: Saudade (Portuguese): refers to the feeling of longing for something or someone that one loves, which is lost. A feeling of emptiness,melancholy or nostalgia carrying with it the repressed knowledge that the object or person of longing is lost and may never return. 'The love that remains’, a bittersweet, empty feeling.“It's better to have loved and lost love, than to not have had it at all.”It's been four years since Moonbyul's passing, and Yongsun finds herself dragged into a torrent of old wounds, and bittersweet memories. A short story of love and loss, of learning to breathe, one breath at a time.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hi everyone this is my first fic for mamamoo and the first fic I'm posting on ao3 so I hope y'all enjoy. I'm not sure if I'll be posting it as a one shot or a chapter by chapter story but y'all can comment your preferences! I'll post the story when I've completed it :-)
> 
> STORY WILL BE IN SOLAR'S POV UNLESS OTHERWISE STATED.

-

Except that we were more than what people knew us to be. She was more to me than just a friend, she was my moon, my universe, my galaxy. She was my best friend, and my lover, she was my family.

 

The world could not know of even a hint of what happened when we were alone together, those stolen, moonlit nights we spent, where hours felt like minutes, and days felt like seconds.

 

She was everything to me, much as I was to her, and yet we could never let out even a word of what we were to anyone.

 

Not to her family, not to our friends.

 

It was a forbidden love, a love so taboo yet so real, it was intoxicating. A romance between two girls. In Korea, that was unthought of.

-


	2. Still

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ A/N: Hi everyone I'll be leaving song suggestions for every chapter that I feel would fit the mood of the chapter, and do give the songs a listen while reading! The song for this chapter is Crash by Usher. I hope you enjoy!]

  1. _Still_



 

_ Kim Yongsun _

Today I find myself sitting in the corner of the room where the memorial service was held, the priest’s voice droning on in a monotonous rhythm. I try my best to catch his words, failing as soon as I start. 

 

(Why were death anniversaries called anniversaries? They didn't seem like a cause for celebration. “Happy being dead for four years?” That didn't sound right. Every year was just a loop of anguish and loss for me.)

 

I shift uncomfortably under the solemn eyes of the church staff attending to the service, hunching inwards on myself as I try to make myself as unassuming and nondescript as possible.

 

I pull my cap further down over my eyes.

 

“And today we remember the passing of Moon Byulyi, who will live on as a loving memory in all our hearts. Let us pray.”

 

I don't close my eyes, instead taking the time to slowly pass over the faces of the guests, who attend with increasing rarity over the course of the years. Of course, today her mother is here, without fail.

 

Before I know it, the service has ended and I stay unmoved, as the people stream pass the pews out of the room. I watch the sunlight flicker through the tinted glass windows, an array of colours beaming in, illuminating the space.

 

_ It's been four years now, yet I still don't see you here. _

 

I shut my eyes.

 

_ I still miss you, _

 

An infinitesimal tear runs down my cheek.

 

_ every single day. _

 

Then I feel a hand brush my shoulder, a light graze upon the cotton sleeve of my outfit. My heart palpitates.

 

_ Byulyi? _

 

But when I turn around, I'm met with the sorrowful face of Mrs Moon, her face bearing an uncanny resemblance to my Byulyi. Her eyes are weighed down in bruised colour bags, evident of her exhaustion, the skin around her eyes and forehead creased in a plethora of wrinkles.

 

I spot the graying edges of hair near her temples, the tremors of her hand, and I know that she is a victim to her guilt, as I am to mine. 

 

“It's hard to believe it's been four years since she's been gone, isn't it?” she begins, her voice resonating with remorse, hurt, and an underlying melancholy.

 

“Sometimes I catch myself forgetting how she looks like when she smiles, or the little things she used to do, and I hate myself all the more for it.” 

 

I can do nothing but smile wanly at her, because I know exactly what she is talking about, and she is aware of this fact.

 

Mrs Moon subtly smiles at me, her expression betraying her feelings all the more. “Thank you for being such a good friend to Byulyi, and for coming,” she says, before she loses herself to sorrow once more.

 

Except that we were more than what people knew us to be. She was more to me than just a friend, she was my moon, my universe, my galaxy. She was my best friend, and my lover, she was my family.

 

The world could not know of even a hint of what happened when we were alone together, those stolen, moonlit nights we spent, where hours felt like minutes, and days felt like seconds.

 

She was everything to me, much as I was to her, and yet we could never let out even a word of what we were to anyone.

 

Not to her family, not to our friends.

 

It was a forbidden love, a love so taboo yet so real, it was intoxicating. A romance between two girls. In Korea, that was unthought of.

 

I remember the first time we met, in a dinghy convenience store not far from where we would later move into an apartment together.

 

_ She was the dim moonlight softly bathing the surface of the earth, the gentle sigh of a lasting memory. I was sitting at the tables near the end of the store, a cup of instant noodles in front of me. I remember watching the flashing lights of cars as they passed, the desolate streets ringing with loneliness. _

 

_ Then I heard her, that deep, husky, yet sweet voice of hers. “Is this seat empty?” she'd asked, gesturing to the seat beside me. _

 

_ “Yes,” I'd said. _

 

_ “Great,” she'd said with a smile. _

 

_ And it was, great.  _

 

_ Later when we got together I asked her why she had approached me. _

 

_ “Because I thought you looked beautiful under the soft moonlight,” she'd said simply, looking at me with that sincere expression of hers. _

 

_ Then, I'd chided her for being greasy again, but I knew deep down she'd meant every word she said to me. She wasn't someone who said their 'I love you's often, but when she did, she meant every one of them.  _

 

_ “I love you, Kim Yongsun,” she'd said to me the night she confessed to me, the look in her eyes that night stirring up a warm tingle in the pit of my stomach. _

 

_ “Will you be my girlfriend?” she asked. _

 

_ Of course, I said yes. It was hard to say no to Byulyi. Not that I would ever say no to her. I was wonderfully, entirely, in love with her. _

 

_ She’d smiled adorably, her nose scrunching up into her signature, dorky grin. That was one of the infinite number of things I loved about her. _

 

I hear a loud bang at the back of my mind, and I am jolted out of my trip back down to memory lane. “Anyone still here?” I hear a gruff voice call out, the sound resonating within the enclosed space, “I need to lock up now.”

 

I snap out of it, collecting my belongings before darting out of the room. I walk aimlessly down the gravel path near the church premises, minute pebbles finding their way into my sneakers.

 

It would be a nightmare for Byul's feet in her scruffy converses full of holes. Except, she wasn't here to grimace at it anymore.

 

Before long, I reach our apartment- 

 

(I should get used to calling it  _ my  _ apartment now, shouldn't I?)

 

and the flicker of the faulty bulb in the living room welcomes me home.

 

_ A shitty replacement for how Byul used to greet me at the door with a passionate kiss, and a 'welcome back’, if you ask me. _

 

But as they say, beggars can't be choosers... right?

 

I stumble in the living room, my legs heavy as lead. Then I brush against something resting on the small coffee table Byul used to call her 'work table’.

 

The leather-bound book falls onto the ground with a dull thud. 'Shit!’ I cuss.

 

Today wasn't a good day. In fact, it was downright terrible, I was in a foul mood and cleaning up after my girlfriend (who left me all alone on this very day four years ago) was not high on my to-do list.

 

_ Of course, I'm not angry at you Byul...I just miss you, way more than I can handle. _

 

I bent down to retrieve the fallen book. 'Byul’s Bank’ it read.

 

I brace myself as another flood of memories drown my thoughts out.

 

_ “What's this?” I asked, fingers trailing across the leather finish of the book sitting in front of Byulyi. _

 

_ “Come here,” she'd said, patting the ground next to her, “I'll show you.” _

 

_ I scooted over, cuddling up to her, marvelling at the way Byul's homely smell curled around me, enveloping me in a familiar embrace. _

 

_ “This is my greatest treasure,” Byul started. “After you, of course,” she added as an afterthought, anticipating my cringe attack she knew would come. _

 

_ “I write down the beautiful words of other language that I come across in here,” she said, smiling fondly, “so I can remember and keep them with me.” _

 

_ My eyes wandered to the pages, slightly creased from the loving touch of its owner. I skim the page with my eyes, ‘Deunde, Hanyauku, Dépaysement…’ _

 

_ I land upon a word written at the bottom of the page. “Saudade,” I breathed, as if it were fragile, the word unfamiliar on my lips. “What does it mean?” _

 

_ “It refers to an intense longing one has towards something or someone who's been lost,” she said, equally gently, “a beautiful word with no equivalent in English.” _

 

_ “That sounds really...sad,” I intoned. (I was never really one who was good with my words, okay.) _

 

_ “It is, isn't it?” she agreed, her eyes seeking mine. I looked into them, and found a million possibilities, a galaxy of immense expanse, yet the cozy feeling of home, the quiet calm after a storm. _

 

_ “I love you, Moon Byulyi,” I blurted out, “never leave me...I wouldn't be able to take it.” _

 

_ She'd smiled then, a small one full of love, “I wouldn't dream of it.” _

 

_ And yet you still did,  _ I thought bitterly. 

 

The reality of the situation washes over me, the stifling, entangled mess of human complications. The mess that left me thinking of her every breathing second. The mess that told me I still loved her despite.

 

Despite everything.

 

That night I fell asleep, dreaming of nothing.


	3. Desparately

  1. Desparately 



 

Song recommendation:  **8 Letters** by Why don't we

 

_ Kim Yongsun _

 

I awoke the following morning, my throat raspy and an insistent pounding at my temples. Groaning, I shift the covers off my torso before sliding out of bed. Unintentionally, I looked to the left side of the bed, where the sight of the covers neatly tucked into the end of the bed met my sleep-bleary eyes. And for the umpteenth time since that day five years ago, a momentary panic and confusion hit me, until I remembered the horrifying truth: you were simply gone.

 

And maybe I should have learnt my lesson all those mornings waking up to a cold bed, but I didn’t. Because what could let me see the truth, and resign to it, than the cruel method of experiencing the loss of it all over again?

 

Perhaps Byul was right after all, and I was secretly a masochist.

 

_ “Ow!” I yelped. _

 

_ “Be careful, ugh, I thought I told them to dethorn the roses.” Byul had said, worry flashing over her delicate features, “give me your hand.” _

 

_ I gave her my hand tentatively, wincing a little from the pain.  _

 

_ But what she did next made me forget all about the prick, when I felt the moist warmth that enveloped my finger. Byul had placed my finger in her mouth, sucking lightly on the wound to remove the blood.  _

 

_ “B-byul!” I’d exclaimed then, pulling my hand away, before flushing a deep shade of amber. _

 

_ “What?” Byul had said, attempting to retrieve my hand, as if it were the most natural thing to do, “I’m tending to your cut.” _

 

_ “No-” I retorted, feeling the tips of my ears heating up, “it’s okay, I'll take care of it later.”  _

 

_ She'd raised a brow at me then, a smirk tugging at the side of her lips, “You don't strike me as a masochist, Yong, you surprise me every time.” _

 

_ At this, I'd blushed harder, before the familiar warmth of her arms encircled my waist, pulling me into a deep kiss. _

 

_ “Don't worry, I don't intend to let anyone know,” she'd said, her lips travelling the edge of my jaw, growling, “you're mine.” _

 

And I was, and I still am. Forever and always. 

 

If only she were still here to make the claim valid.

  
  
  


I remember the months leading up to her horrifying revelation, her cold demeanor both confusing and frustrating me. She'd always been a very affectionate girlfriend, and her acting any way other than how she usually was was an entirely new experience for me.

 

_ “Byul?” I said into the phone, before I was met with the prerecorded message of her voice mail, my voice meeting my own ear as the message we recorded together sent a jolt of sadness through me. _

 

_ “Byulyi-ssi is not available right now,” a torrent of high pitched giggles assaulting my ear. “Yongsun!” A thud, and more giggles, before Byul's warm voice came over the receiver, “leave a message if it's urgent! Yah- unnie-” The line went out with a beep. _

 

_ Byul had been much more detached as of late, she no longer showered me with kisses when she returned home, choosing instead to retract into the guest room we had, and she never surprised me occasionally with flowers anymore. _

 

_ But it wasn't about the flowers, it was never about the flowers. She had put up her walls against me, and I was none the wiser about her reasons. _

 

_ I was simply a stranger living in the same house. She had moved out of our shared bedroom, into the guest room next to it.  _

 

_ (this is when the fissures started to show) _

 

_ “Why are you acting like this?” I'd pleaded with her, desperation lining my words, “was it something I did, or said? Talk to me, baby.” _

 

_ But she'd responded with a, “it's not you, Yongsun, it's me.” _

 

_ “What do you mean??” _

 

_ “I just need some time alone to think about it,” she replied, before closing the door on me. _

 

_ But then I'd also noticed the bruise-coloured bags beneath her eyes, and the way her bones now pushed against her skin, a pale sallow look coming over her features. _

 

_ When you spend that much time thinking about someone, or looking at them, you tend to notice many things. And I was concerned. _

 

_ When I was reaching my breaking point, I asked her. She'd been avoiding me, only returning home at the break of day. So I'd waited for her, grasping her wrist, (were her wrists always this thin? I didn't think so, but when she stopped telling me things, she'd stopped touching me too. And words would not have been enough to show how much I yearned for her touch.) turning her around to face me. _

 

_ “We need to talk,” I started, prepared to fight her if need be. _

 

_ “Okay.” _

 

_ “Look, you can't just avoid m-” I paused, before doing a double-take, “wait you said okay…” _

 

_ “I can't do this anymore, Yong,” she'd said then, her voice cracking, and I felt tears rise up my throat, “I'm tired.” _

 

_ “Tell me,” I begged, “What's been going on, Byul?” _

 

_ “I love you, you know?” she continued, a sudden confession, the vulnerable tone of her breaking my heart in two, “so, so much.” _

 

_ “So why?” Why why why why, why? _

 

_ “I'm sick, Yong,” she'd said then, tears spilling over her cheeks like a broken dam, “I- I have stage four ovarian cancer.” _

 

_ “You deserve so much more,” she continued, “but I'm too selfish.” _

 

_ “I can't bear the thought of you with anyone else.” _

 

_ (this is when the fissures started to deepen, working into fully formed cracks) _

 

_ “What do you mean you're sick, Byul?” I asked, desperately clinging onto her arm, “you're not playing a prank on me, are you? Because if you are, you succeeded, okay? Tell me you're lying to me,” I pleaded with her. _

 

_ “I'm- I'm not lying Yongsun,” she replied, “I'm really, truly sick.” _

 

_ And then the reality of the situation collided with whatever false hope I'd held on to, stripping me of all my defenses. _

 

_ “I love you Byul,” I started to cry, “what are you saying? What are you implying?” _

 

_ That night we fell asleep together on the couch, both of us exhausted both emotionally and mentally. I slept soundly with the warmth of Byul finally in my arms again. _

 

_ As if I could hold onto her warmth, as if it were a tangible thing I could see and possess, as if I could make it last if I just tried hard enough. _

 

_ But I guess my best wasn't enough. _

  
  


_ The first time I accompanied her to her appointment at the nearby hospital, the overwhelming smell of antiseptic permeated the air, the underlying smell of death assaulted my senses. _

 

_ The doctor's diagnosis and explanation of her condition was as clear to me as the bottom of a muddy lake was to a fisherman, but one thing was clear. Byul's death was inevitable.  _

 

_ She had exactly five months left.  _ We  _ had five months left together. _

 

_ We walked home that day, her fingers intertwined in mine, a stifling silence settling over us. _

 

_ Just before we reached our apartment, she paused, looking down at the gravelly ground of the pavement. “You know,” she started uneasily, speaking uncharacteristically quietly, “I’m sorry for asking you to come along today.” _

 

_ I took her other hand, pulling her to face me, “Why are you sorry?” _

 

_ “I just- I'm a sick person, Yong. I only have five months to live.” Byul looked exhausted, her eyes beginning to well up. _

 

_ “Then I'll make sure you enjoy your last five months, every single moment of it.” I said, pulling her in to press a kiss gently, at the side of her jaw. _

 

_ “Thank you for loving me, Yong. I'm sorry I'm so selfish.” _

 

_ I silenced her words with a kiss on the sidewalk, not caring if anyone saw us. I would make a lifetime of memories in our last five months, or die trying. Moon Byulyi wasn't the only selfish one in this relationship. _

  
  


The phone rings, a loud, incessant sound, drowning out my thoughts. I amble over, greeting the person with a “Hel-”, before I am cut off with a familiar voice, the tone tinny over the phone receiver. “Yongsun unnie? This is Whee In-”, a muffled shout, “-and Hyejin!”, before Whee In continues, “it's been a long time since we hung out...want to grab a drink?”

 

There's nothing I’d rather do, I assure her, before we agree on meetup details and hang up. 

  
  


Half an hour later, I find myself sitting opposite a fresh-faced beauty with short, cropped, blonde hair, and a femme fatale beauty, with long, wavy black hair.

 

A dimple smiles at me from Whee In’s cheek, before the person to which the dimple belonged to greeted me enthusiastically. “Unnie!!! I!!! Missed!!! You!!!” 

 

A pair of skinny arms reached up to wrap me in a vice tight hug, and I feel the younger girl snuggling into the hug. I smile, because who could resist Jung Whee In's shows of affection?

 

“I missed you guys too,” I assured her, extending my arms out to Hyejin, who joined our hug, forming a group hug.

 

“We’ve been meaning to catch up for a long time now,” Hyejin said, breaking away from our three-man island, “but we just couldn't find the time to do so.”

 

I nod in understanding. It's been the same with me.

 

“We really should have made time to accompany you to Byul unnie’s memorial but…” Whee In trails off, a look of guilt flashing across her delicate features. 

 

“It's okay,” I said 

 

(even though it was not) 

 

softly, “Byul would've understood.”

 

She bites her lower lip uneasily, before Hyejin shatters the uncomfortable atmosphere, “So anyway, how are you?”

 

I give them a quick rundown on how I've been doing, making sure to leave out the details of the melancholy that still plagued me from time to time, especially near her death.

 

“You're not okay,” Whee In intones.

 

“I'm okay,” I reply carefully.

 

“You're not.” Hyejin says, “you may rather we not say it, but we've known each other for too long unnie, it's been five years, and you've never been able to find closure.”

 

Damn these two brats, I thought, maybe I should have disowned them from the start.

 

“I- I want to find it too,” I say awkwardly, “closure, but I don't know how.”

 

“How about you tell us about your last few months together?” Whee In suggests, “that might help.”

 

This time the wave of memories comes more easily, words spewing out of my mouth before I know it.

  
  


_ “Make yourself a bucket list,” I demanded of her, sliding a pen and paper over to Byul, “I'll make sure I fulfil every single one of them.” _

 

_ “Well, actually…” Byul started hesitantly, “I did make a bucket list.” _

 

_ I looked at her intently, my expression immediately betraying my curiosity. “Where is it? I want to help you fulfill as many things on it as soon as possible.” _

 

_ “But there's a part that…” Byul said, before trailing off hesitantly, then continuing again, “I'll go fetch it.” _

 

_ She got up and stalked off to our room, and I failed to resist the urge to tap her ass before she got too far. “Hurry up, Moonbyul-ssi!” _

 

_ She returned with a piece of A4 sized paper with the end slightly torn off. I scanned through the list, the whole thing comprising of 20 agendas, each neatly demarcated with a number to the left of it. _

 

_ “What's this portion?” I asked, pointing to the torn off part of the paper. _

 

_ “Oh, it was already torn when I took it, so…” she shrugged nonchalantly. Doubt flashed in my mind, but I ignored it. _

 

_ There were many things on the list, majority of which held my name, things like ‘3. Visit Switzerland with Yong’ and others like ‘5. Write a song for Yong’. _

 

_ Tear pricked at my eyes at the sight, but I managed to stop myself from getting all mopey. I had to be strong, if only for Byul. _

 

_ “Looks like you've planned out most of it,” I said, glancing at her, smiling a little when her cheeks flushed red. _

 

_ “Well...yeah, I've been wanting to do them since forever so.” she grinned at me, her nose scrunching up in her signature smile. _

 

_ “What are we waiting for? Let's get started!” _

 

-

“What was the first thing you guys did?” They started to sound more like kids each passing moment.

 

“Hold on, I'm getting to that part.”

-

 

_ “We should start with the easier things to fulfill,” I said, looking to Byul for confirmation. She nodded, peering over my shoulder at the list. _

 

_ I trail my finger down the list, until it stopped at a simple option. ‘6. Bring Yong to an amusement park.’ _

 

_ She looked up at me in anticipation. “Shall we?” _

  
  


_ The very next day, at half past eight in the morning we trooped to the Lotte World amusement park in Seoul, where we'd always wanted to go but never had the chance to. _

 

_ I had insisted that we wore our couple hats, smiling at the sight of Byul's hat, which read 'Crush on you’ and smiled more at the knowledge that my own cap read 'U’. _

 

_ She'd pretended to protest, but I'd caught the small smile that spread across her face before she turned away, and I knew she loved it too.  _

 

_ “What shall we go on first?” she smiled, her excitement bringing out the childish side of her that was underneath her usual cool façade. _

 

_ I shrugged, a little intimidated by all the rides. Most of them towered over us, the flashy spectrum of colours making my head spin. I gulped, warily eyeing the biggest rollercoaster in the vicinity. 'Definitely not that one, I hope,’ I thought. _

 

_ Just then, a mischievous look descended upon Byul's face. “What about that one?” she said, smiling innocently, her finger pointing straight at the rollercoaster. _

 

_ “W-well,” I licked my parched lips. _

 

_ “C’mon Yong...it'll be a fast one,” she scrunched her nose up in her signature smile, that one indent beneath her eye grinned at me from its spot. “Plus, you only live once right?” _

 

_ God knows I can't deny her when she smiled at me like that. _

 

_ Ten minutes later I find myself buckled onto a rollercoaster seat, the damned thing crawling slowly to the top. “Byul-ah, b-byul,” I said, reaching for her hand next to me, “w-wait-” _

 

_ Then with a jerk and a loud screech, the rollercoaster plummeted down its tracks.  _

 

_ My voice box exploded with deafening shriek. _

 

“AAaAAAaaAaaAAAAAAAHHHHHHHhhhhHHhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHH MOON BYUL YI yAaAHHHHHHHHHHHH”

 

_ I think I screamed louder on that single ride than I had ever done in my entire life. _

 

_ When the ride ended, I got off feeling as if all my energy had been drained. I looked to Byulyi, and saw that her face was scrunched up in pain. _

 

_ “Byul? Are you okay?” I asked, concerned. _

 

_ “Yeah, it's just… Yong… I think you burst my eardrums,” she said, rubbing her ear in mock hurt. _

 

_ “Heol! You were the one who made me ride this… monstrosity!” I exclaimed. _

 

_ “But you still agreed, didn't you?” she'd said, smooshing my cheeks together, cooing at the sight of my plump cheeks. _

 

_ How could I ever have denied her? _

 

_ - _

“Aw man I feel so bad for Byul unnie,” Whee In says, her hand gripping Hyejin’s one as they double over, laughing.

 

“Listen-” I protest, “it was really scary okay.”

 

“Whatever you say ma'am!” Hyejin says, sputtering in laughter again.

-

 

_ We spent the entire day at the amusement park, taking photographs and buying keychains as little keepsakes.  _

 

_ At the end of the day, when the vivid blue sky transitioned to a peachy pink colour before darkening rapidly into a pitch black, she turned to me, excited.  _

 

_ “Unnie, there's a fireworks show today,” she said, awed, “let's go watch it!” _

 

_ I agreed readily. _

 

_ We found ourselves a comfortable spot on a bench, and Byul spread a cloth over the seat before she allowed me to sit. (That was one of my favourite things about her, always such a gentlewoman!) _

 

_ When the fireworks show started up, the blinding sparks colouring the night sky with a loud boom, I watched Byul admire it intensely, her eyes trained on it. _

 

_ But try as I could all I could see was her.  _

 

_ “It's beautiful, isn't it?” she whispered in awe. _

 

_ “Yeah, beautiful…” I said, still looking at her. _

 

_ She caught me staring at her, turning around, before a light pink tint dusted her cheeks. _

 

_ “Why aren't you watching the fireworks show, you dummy?” she asked. _

 

_ “You’re so much more captivating than any fire works to me, Byul.” _

 

_ She flushed a bright red, turning away, pretending to sulk. “I'm in charge of bringing on the grease, Yongsun.” _

 

_ “I learnt from the best,” I said with a mock salute. _

 

_ “Well, then the best has more things to teach you,” she said, turning around so I could catch the glint in her eye. _

 

_ Then, before I could resist, she pulled me into a kiss.  _

 

_ “Thank you for today.” _

 

_ - _

“Eek what happened next?” Whee In asks, perching on the edge of her seat.

 

“In ah,” Hyejin said, patting her best friend on the head, “that's not for us to know.” She leans in to Whee In and says in a mock whisper, “it's R18.”

 

“Hey!” I smack Hyejin on the arm. 

 

“Come on, unnie, let's move on to the next thing you guys did… it's not getting earlier.” Whee In says, blushing.

 

“Well, okay, but it's a long story.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all are enjoying the story so far! Do leave comments if you feel like it :-)


	4. And wonderfully

  1. And wonderfully



 

Song recommendation:  **Cruel** by Foxes

 

_ Kim Yongsun _

 

_ A week after our first outing, Byul called me at work and asked me if I was free the next week.  _

 

_ “Of course I'm free,” I said, “I'll always make time for you, even though your Yongsun unnie is a busy bee.” _

 

_ Silence came over the receiver, then the forced laughter of Byul. “Ha Ha Ha.” Byul said, before, “You're really No-Jaem*, unnie.”  _

 

_ (*No-Jaem, a moonsun vlive reference. A phrase which means lame, or not funny.) _

 

_ I laughed, but my laugh resonated into the phone and echoed back into my ear. “Ow!” _

 

_ “Your laugh hurt your own ear, didn't it? Imagine how I feel on a daily basis,” Byul said, her adorable giggles filling my ear, soothing it. _

 

_ “So anyway, where are we going next week?” I asked. _

_ “Pack your bags, Yong, we're going on a trip.” I could hear the smile in her voice. _

  
  


_ The next week, we set off for our trip.  _

 

_ “Where are we going, Byul?” I asked, “what time do we need to be at the gate by?” _

 

_ “Relax, Yong, I got this.” Byul said, a lazy smile spread across her face. _

 

_ “But what about the itinerary-” I tried again, but was cut off by her. _

 

_ “Look, Yong,” she said, pulling me into a loose sideway embrace, her hands resting on my hips. “You planned the entire trip the last time we went to Hong Kong and I've never had the chance to repay you. Let me take care of it this time, eh?” _

 

_ I nodded, smiling inwardly at how manly Byul was being. My girlfriend. _

 

_ She pulled me towards our gate before I could protest. _

  
  


_ -Bonus Part: Plane ride- _

_ Third Person POV _

 

_ Yongsun was cold. So, so cold. Her fingers felt as if they were frozen rock solid, refuting her attempt to gather warmth by rubbing them together. Multiple goosebumps rose from the surface of her skin, her nose was runny.  _ __   
__   
_ Why was it so damn cold on the plane? _ __   
__   
_ She peeked at Byul's sleeping figure, a small ball in the seat beside her. How her girlfriend could sleep in such cold environment and in such a cute way was indecipherable to Yongsun. _ __   
__   
_ Yongsun wanted to indulge in Byul's warmth. But how would she do that without waking the younger girl up? _ __   
__   
_ She glanced over at Byul once more. The younger girl's hands were peeking out from under the fluffy jacket Yong had lent her. _ __   
__   
_ Yong smiled, this might actually be more fun than she'd thought. Yong reached across to Byul's hand and grasped her girlfriend's hand. _ __   
__   
_ Byul awoke to the sound of giggling and a cold sensation on her hand. Without opening her eyes, Byul could tell that Yong was playing at something.  _ __   
__   
_ Two can play at that game, Byul thought, and pretended to remain asleep. _ __   
__   
_ Yong, upon seeing no reaction from her girlfriend, continued by caressing Byul's face with her other hand, Byul's warmth seeping into Yong's hands. _ __   
__   
_ Still no reaction. _ __   
__   
_ Yong was desperate by now. She didn't only want Byul's warmth, but also her attention. Yong was having fun disturbing her _ ,  _ but she was full of want for her girlfriend now _ .  _ As unconscious as she was. _ __   
__   
_ Stealing a kiss or two would be no big deal, right? _ __   
__   
_ Yong leaned in, closing the distance between her lips and Byul's cheek, placing a gentle kiss on the soft skin. _ __   
__   
_ But you know what would feel better, Yong thought, just ONE more on her lips. _ __   
__   
_ Yong brushed aside the stray hairs that had wandered onto Byul's face, and her lips left Byul's cheek and landed...on Byul's cheek. _ __   
__   
_ Yong's eyes flew open. Didn't she move towards Byul's lips? Why was she back on Byul's cheek? _ __   
__   
_ Byul was having lots of fun trolling her girlfriend. She laughed inwardly, trying not to let her girlfriend catch on that she was awake. _ __   
__   
_ Yong tried again, her lips leaving soft skin and landed...yet again on Byul's cheek. Would she have to keep her eyes open just to get a proper kiss in ? Yong was exasperated. _ __   
__   
_ The third time, Yong reached towards Byul, only to hear a breathy whisper, "What are you trying to do to a sleeping girl?"  _ __   
__   
_ Startled, Yong yelped and jumped back into her seat.  _ __   
__   
_ Byul burst out laughing uncontrollably at how cute her girlfriend was. sHES POUTING NOW OMYGOSH THAT LITTLE CUTIE, Byul crooned inwardly, her mouth pulling into a huge grin.  _ __   
__   
_ "Why didn't you tell me you were awake?" Yong huffed, pouting. _ __   
__   
_ "I just wanted to tell you," Byul landed a kiss on Yong's cheek, "how cute you look today," a kiss on her eyelid, "and how cute you are," a kiss on her nose, ",a kiss at the edge of her lips, "when you're mad." And finally, a slow, gentle kiss upon Yong's lips. _ __   
__   
__ Yong smiled, mollified, "Tell me more."   
  


_ - _

 

Back to Yong’s POV

 

_ The 10 plus hours flight brought us over hundreds of miles, the dreary and pale city landscape of South Korea morphing into the lush greenery and open fields of Switzerland. _

 

_ That cheeky git, I thought, did she really think I wouldn't know where we were going? I'd seen the intended destination on our plane tickets, try as she had to cover it. _

 

_ I smiled at the sight of Byul curled up in the seat next to mine, her arm extended to rest on my thigh. _

 

_ I'll forgive you just this once, I thought. _

 

_ A tinny voice came over the PA system, signalling the nearing end of our journey. “ _ **_Please stay in your seats and buckle up. The plane will be landing soon, at approximately 10:30am local time._ ** _ ” _

 

_ I steeled myself to wake Byul up ten minutes later, as the plane descended, the wheels of the aluminium contraption scraping the ground in touchdown. _

 

_ “Byul ah,” I shook her gently, “the plane has landed.” _

 

_ “Mmm,” she moaned, stirring before she stretched out, her lengthy limbs reaching out to envelope me in a hug, my torso twisted in an awkward position. _

 

_ “Wake up, you doo doo,” I said affectionately, tousling her silvery hair, which spilled out of her scarf like a waterfall. _

 

Ethereal,  _ I breathed. _

 

_ I gently slipped my hand under her head, lifting it up before I curved my arms to embrace her head, my fingers splayed behind her head. _

 

_ Smiling, I whispered, “If you don't wake up now I'll eat all your rice cracker snacks.” _

 

_ She woke up immediately after that. _

 

-

 

“Oh, but that's so nice,” Whee In remarked, “to be able to go on a trip with your significant other…” 

 

She sighed wistfully.

 

“Don't interrupt,” Hyejin said, smacking her best friend's thigh in mock annoyance, “do continue unnie, what happened next?”

 

-

 

_ Byul had rented a car before our arrival in Switzerland, and smirked as she put the car in reverse, pulling out of the carpark lot. The back of my head burned as her hand reached over to place it on the headrest of the passenger seat, her neck croning to check for traffic behind. _

 

_ The darn girl knew what I loved her doing, and she exploited the hell out of it. _

 

_ “Where are we going now?”  _

 

“ _ You'll see,” she smiled, planting a tiny kiss on my hand. _

  
  


_ “This place?” I looked at her in alarm. “Byul, we can't be here, we can't afford this.” I gestured at the huge villa standing before us, which had a beautiful garden and a cute porch at the front of the house. _

 

_ “Yong, trust me,” she said, her eyes seeking mine, “I've got this.” _

 

_ “Where did you get the money?” I demanded. Was this the same girl who would've eaten a week's worth of expire cup noodles if I hadn't stopped her?  _

 

_ “Well...I've been working on a little project lately and it earned me quite a bit of money,” she said hesitantly, knowing I wouldn't stop prodding until I knew what I wanted to know. _

 

_ “C'mon Yonggg,” she whined, “I'll tell you everything in time, let's just enjoy this now, hm?” _

 

_ I begrudgingly agreed, before I allowed her to whisk me into the house to unload our luggage. _

 

_ When we had finished unloading our luggage, I turned around and found Byul sprawled across the king sized bed, her exhaustion taking over her, luring her into a deep sleep. _

 

_ I smiled and crawled towards her, planting a small kiss on her smooth forehead. “Thank you for everything,” I whispered, “I love you.” _

 

_ I fell into a dreamless sleep. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope yall are enjoying the story so far!! don't forget to leave comments so i know what yall thank hehe


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